How is this fair

For something that hurts this bad,
Why arent we allowed to scream:
Im heartbroken
It's very, very crippling
Some days you feel like you can do nothing
Trapped in a non existent time-space continum
Where you are what time it is and what you do ends up a blur and you forget what you are even doing
For something that makes eating feel forced and moving require so much effort,
Why am I not allowed to just be?
For something that makes getting up hard and falling asleep even tougher, why can I not get a letter to excuse myself from things
Why cant I tell people,
I can't. I'm hurting in ways unimagineable.
But I want you to force me because doing nothing hurts too
Doing hurts, not doing hurts too
Neither more than the other
It's like that joke where a patient says everywhere she pokes on her body hurts
The punchline is that her finger is the broken one
Where's the punchline to a heartbreak?