Why did you have to change

Stop abusing those powers,
And smiling while hurting others just because you know I won't do anything about it
You can trample on my heart as much as you want
But hands off my friends.

I'm disassociating your unkind heart from theirs.
The worst part is I used to place you among them- among those who understood and among those who tried.
None of us were perfect but we chose to show our best sides for each other.
Until you faltered.

Until you learnt that you had what it takes to gain instant gratification,
To lure your wants and needs faster
You left us behind and that was enough,
But you chose to spit your venom each time we come face to face.

Now I hate to have to do this,
But if it comes to it,
I cordially invite you to a duel- a losing duel where you come prepared with your usual poison while I come with nothing but hope and memories- hope of who you are deep down and memories of who we once were.
And I know the outcome, I can foresee it even from now.
Batting of eyelashes and sweet words to bring my side to yours.

Until i'm left alone and forced to surrender.
Until you beat me down and i'm battered.
Until you dry me off my blood and soul.
But ultimately,
You're at the losing end.

Heart says

Shit.
Am I betraying a friend by harbouring feelings for someone she likes- and even admitted to liking?
Thing is I don't even know for sure if I like like him, and I hope to not cross that line because I respect our friendship and I respect the friend who trusted me enough.
The worst part is that this happened to me before,
And for me to duplicate that kind of sheer betrayal is just...
Horrendous.
Yes I know matters of the heart cannot be forced, but it's what I choose to do with it.
And I choose to stop giving myself a chance to like him further than I already do.
You guys are worth my compromise.

For your castle is my prison

The reason you smile is the reason I cry
And what brings you joy only brings wrath for me
When you look at your loved one with stars in your eyes,
All that hits my heart is a flaming, accelerating meteor.
I'm threatened by your happiness and that is unhealthy.
But how do I escape when your hand is holding my heart?
Your castle is my hell.
And I want out, but I know you can tell
That i'm not even trying to escape.
But for the record,
Your castle remains my hell.

Dramas are not worth it

Yes you are part of the inner circle
Yes you get access to private information that I too deserve to know about
But youve not been there
You are not worth my time.
So sike off

Go away

To avoid you for a bit.
Because it is not worth compromising the friendship just because your kind heart impressed mine.
Just because your smile makes me smile.
Just because you're the human I spend most time with.
To avoid you for a bit.
Because none of us deserve confusion, and you don't deserve this change in attention.
To avoid you for a bit.
Just enough until I get a stronger hold on these feelings,
Enough that I find a distraction from your gaze.
Let me avoid you for a bit.
Because it will hurt less this way.
(no matter how much I want to see you)