I will gather all my strength

Realise there is no need to sprinkle the thousand hopes i've been gripping tight in my fist

it's been almost a month

and my brain is still not back to shape

In trying to keep my feelings under control, i try to numb my thoughts

And in doing so, im just not present

Sometimes i go through the motion and im even afraid that i'll say nonsense because im just not thinking

You laugh at me when I mess up,

I never used to mess up 

You laughed at me when i couldnt multitask and you laughed because i was quiet 

But im just not present

Im physically there but that is it

My brain is just empty for the time being, i guess its way to protect itself 

Ive always been aware, present and purposeful in my actions

But this past month i havent been and i'll try to find myself again soon

It is really annoying when i make stupid mistakes that ive never made 

But i know why and im being gentle to myself

I know i just need time

And time is all i have, 

Thankfully.