Once a week I find myself begging to god again
To heal my heart again
Lose this love for you again
And the next week I find myself doing it
Once more

The way I missed you started as a scream,
A long painful wail and a struggle to keep calm
Now it's the softest whimper
I learn to hide it better
But the pain feels the exact same

I'll learn to be happy from the backseat
Passively absorbing the good vibes and beautiful experiences from other people
And manifesting my own version of happy
Even if it means not experiencing them first hand
Almost like Virtual Reality
Who's to say it's not real

You used to be my safe place
Now you're just another person I have to put up a strong front around

It's like the universe gave me a taste of having someone who's on my side,
And then says, "My bad, that was not meant for you."
And rips is away from me once more
But at least i'm back to what i'm used to,
Right?
Then why does it feel so bitter?