I long to see you, oh so often.
Imagining looking into your orbs, seeing your vivid laughter and how you'd touch your hair
How you'd somehow end up right beside me
I imagine these and,
And see how long I can tame this fire inside of me
But when we come face to face, nothing in me is burning- it all turns ice cold and I become numb
I've never cared about what people think of me,
But why is it when you ask me How I am,
I take a minute too long to think?
I don't wish for you to perceive me wrongly.
I guess pain is addictive
This special feeling when the heart clenches and you feel nothing else but ache,
The kind of hurt that makes your stomach queasy and mind uneasy
The unsettling feeling keeps visiting and embracing
It's uncomfortable, but it's a comforting feeling
A feeling that is better than not feeling
I want to see you but when I do all I want is to avoid you
I want to talk to you but when I see you all I do is ignore you
I want you to talk to me but when you do all I do is give one word answers
Do I want you then,
Afterall?
When he throws around big words like ubiquitous I feel like both punching and admiring
-But he still hates wordplays
The parallels and connections he tries to abandon but it's too deep of an association
When he keeps quiet about the things we expect him to be least quiet about
-And I can't help but wonder if it's just our misconception or his mind is talking out loud in silent
When he tries not to laugh at my jokes
-But sometimes can't help it and soon apologizes
For what? Showing your joy?
When he touches other girls but me
-But i'm relieved, really.
But...
No buts.
It's my own world i'm living in.
Because these little things are supposed to be insignificant, but I love people too much to let these go.
He happens to be one of my muses.
