The dark side is very tempting.
I have taught myself how to be negative, to wallow in self pity when things do not go my way.
I tell myself it's an immersion, a hands on experience of the minds some people live with everyday of their lives.
I know myself and I got this, I will keep one strong foothold on my world, the world of light and spirit.
I will not be swayed, but still I immerse.
I learnt to scrutinize myself and others, to stop looking at the good and to stop believing in the kindness of mankind.
I learnt to think darker, greyer and eventually alter the shade darker.
I began channeling my energy negatively, the worse ways possible.
I began thinking of furthering the immersion.
But i am fully aware, I am aware that this is not who I am.
I am aware how dangerous this immersion can be, how clingy it can be and how long it can stay.
Im aware of the blackest hand gripping on my ankles, afraid i'll leave the realm to go back to what once was.
To my self, to myself.
To the person who inspires herself and others,
To the heart that tries to be kind and keeps trying despite relapses.
To the true happiness and genuine smiles.
And with these realisations,
I am aware that although I am taking slow slides away from the realm,
I keep two fingers held onto the darkness.
I dont really want to escape but I know it's for the best.
However, sometimes realisation alone is not enough.
Help?
