Everything changed but nothing did

I have come to terms with the fact that i'll always be into you.
Perhaps I would tell myself,
"Maybe it's just the idea of you"
"Maybe it was the old you, the you I knew"
But even as I witness your progress;
Albeit from the sidelines,
And on incognito-
I feel like if we had continued to be friends,
I'd still be into you.

I lost either way

http://thoughtcatalog.com/holly-riordan/2016/08/this-is-why-you-never-knew-i-liked-you/

People always say it's better to lose than not try at all.
But in this case it's true; i'd rather lose in surrender than defeat.

I wished

"You guys are meant to be!"
I don't even dare to say "I wished"
Because what if it came true?

Oh but what if it doesn't.

Their impressions of me

"You're a mystery,"
She said.
"Crazy one of a freaking kind,"
"Are you in a relationship?"
-no
"Of course, a guy has to be insanely perfect to attract your attention,"
"I feel like you are super high maintainence,"
"I'm afraid to meet your future husband,"

Laughs.
Me, a mystery?
Even I think so.
Half of me is so open but I have a dark side of my moon.

Half of me is, and the other half will be there soon.

Get out

Seriously just get out of my head,
You don't belong here,
nor do you deserve to be here.

Almost love

How many people gets to say;
That they experienced heartbreak this bad,
Without even entering a relationship?

Without even experiencing unrequited love,
But a love so almost, it felt too real.
But a love so almost, the cut was abrupt.
The love so almost, I still think about it seven years onwards.

Still dwelling on the same little moments but my dreams about him adds more into our non-existant memories.
I'd never understand and I'll probably never.
At least I hope so.